A little over a year ago, I had the privilege of attending a session of group therapy, administered by a not so usual doctor ... I didn't need therapy prior to my visit but I sure as hell did afterwards!
You would've guessed my trip was neither informed nor consensual, but for the sake of anonymity of the responsible idiots, I'd rather keep the circumstances of how I ended up there in the drawer.
They call him a "Raqi", but you can think of him as fair combination of a witch-doctor, an exorcist, a shepherd and a Sumo wrestler, this latter being admittedly his most intimidating aspect ... But let's not get ahead of ourselves here.
We changed our ride three times, then walked for a while in the mud to get to his villa, and even then we had to wait for like an hour before the show started, the anticipation and the excitement was taking over me ...
We were let in ..
About a hundred people crouched over 4 long bench-like pieces of furniture, neatly installed in a small garage. It smelled; they must've used to store chickens in there. The floor was not tiled; you could tell it's been thoroughly cleaned but the smell was not extinguished. The atmosphere was ominous and I I cried for attention with my red hoodie. The women were led through a back door into a separate room. A while later, the Raqi made his entrance.
Beefy's the word, he looked like a bull. Not very tall, but well built, he could've slapped the beard off most men there if he so desired. He wore a white turban and a brown
kachabia, and smelled uncharacteristically good. He bore a piece of hose which purpose I came to understand shortly.
"Welcome everybody ...
... if God is willing, y'all gonna leave here today cured, blessed and happy. I've been doing this for a while and I tell you people do heal, you have to have faith in God and I shall be the instrument of your salvation ...
... people complain to me about their health, wealth and well being ... some young men tell me they wanna get married but fail to find a spouse, that there are no women for them, That Is Wrong! I will find tons of women for you to marry ... if you desire a religious woman I'll get you one, if you desire an educated woman I'll get you one, if you desire a filthy woman I'll get you one! ...
... you need to be careful of dark magic. Never eat what strange women offer you, food is the most popular vessel of dark magic! In fact, there are two things you need to beware of : El
Makrot! (traditional Algerian sweets) If a woman gives you a piece of Makrot, thank her, slip it discretely in your pocket, and throw it away later ... the second most popular way to cast dark magic is -hang on to your hats- : Appel masqué (anonymous call). Never ever answer an Appel Masqué! This guy answered one once and he got possessed I tell you. When his family brought him to me he was almost done for, but I saved him .. it was hard, because the Djin (demon) wouldn't manifest, I had to talk to it on the phone whenever it called, but eventually I persuaded him and expelled him ...
... I have been gifted, God made me immune to them, they cannot do me harm, so I trained my body to be able to harm them! I have a black belt in Judo and I kick some serious Djin's ass ..."
I was too appalled that I missed the humor in his little opening speech .. Illegal match making business, Superman/Jesus crossover, and Technology friendly demons .. this should've been quite the entertainment, but I was too focused on the piece of water hose he had in his hand. I am no Jackie Chan but I was prepared to scratch and bite had he touched me with the devilish piece of rubber!
"... without further ado, let's get this thing started"
He started walking around the room, reading Quran, and people started acting weird. The guy in front of me had a little basin between his legs .. before I knew it, he started vomiting generously. He obviously had some sort of digestive problem but noooooo, it had to be a symptom of of a superstitious phenomenon that only religious texts can reveal and fix.
On the far right someone started talking:
"So he came to the Raqi after all? ... Petty fool!
... He thinks he can get rid of me, I own him now, body and soul ...
... His family told me they'll bring him here to get rid of me, Bitch Please! ...
... I made him who he is ... I Am Him!!"
The Raqi approached him and read louder, the guy kept talking:
"We will keep having fun .. we will steal together, we will kill together .. we will fornicate together!"
"Leave him you damned creature" shouted the Raqi
"NEVER!" answered the possessed man
The Raqi raised his voice and approached him, he kept on repeating specific verses and the man went completely nuts, then *WHIP!!* ... the water hose fell onto the guys body and he screamed in agony, his voice echoed in the room, *WHIP!*, another hit, the short rubber tube cut through the air like a thousand scorching blades, I so didn't wanna be that guy.
The Reading was suddenly interrupted by a huge blow on the door, I turned to my right, a very slim man punched the heavy iron door and almost took it down. Where the fuck do they find these people? I thought to myself ... I mean, despite how scary that was, despite real life threat, the whole thing was a scam; most guys were under
placebo except for 3 or 4: the guy with the basin was
nauseated, the possessed guy was
schizophrenic, and the one who hit the door was an
actor! The Raqi walked to him and landed half a dozen whips on his skin, he later explained that the guy is unharmed and that the Djin was the one taking the damages ... I thought, Gosh, every whip must've caused that damned Raqi a 1000 dinars.
The Raqi kept alternating between the garage we were in and the women's room, reading as he walked. Most women have been generously whipped, some of them acted possessed, others fainted ... a couple of them went into orgasm!
I hated his guts but I hated it when he left the room, if anyone of these freaks went into overdrive, he could kill a bunch of us before he's restrained. The Raqi came in for a final round and stopped in front of me, I prepared for the worst. He put his hand on my forehead and read for a minute then moved on ... a few minutes later, he was done.
He tried to cheer us up with a witty talk like the one he opened with. He walked around asking how we felt, telling jokes and shit. When he walked by me, he looked me in the eye and said:
"You are possessed, there's a Djin inside of you, and you need to come again if you want him out!"
"Leave me alone" irritated by his joke, I told him to fuck off.
He didn't ask people for money, but they were gonna give him money and he knew it. He must've collected more than 40,000 dinars in that session. I mean the guy works full time, he's gotta eat right? On the way out, people were taking water bottles they have deposited before the session to be blessed (whatever).
"Attention please, this is important!" The Raqi shouted and everybody stopped!
"People whom heads I touched on my last pass are possessed and need to come here again"
Look at that, he wasn't joking! Whether or not he believed it himself, he was serious about it!
I was offended at first, but then I thought, I did come to a place like this, I can't blame him for thinking I believed his hocus pocus ... hopeless people do come to him for help, desperation leaves them no options. Some of them used to be rational intellectuals, but when life hit them hard they had to bargain, they became willing to try anything, even mind numbing bull shit like the one I just described.
